Long story short here peeps. Or at least I'm gonna try real hard to make it short. But I have a feeling that it won't come out that way. Short that is. Here goes. I've felt bad lately. Real, real bad. Thought I had the flu. Started last thursday at 3:42pm. I realize you are not my doctor and I am not sitting in an exam room (like I was yesterday) needing to tell you specifics, but I must. It's necessary. Kinda.
Anyway, thought it was the flu. Nausea, fever, chill's, ache's, pain's, and lethargy. (always wanted to type the word lethargy) I immediately thought FLU. Possibly H1N1. We all know that Matt Lauer is doing his job really, really well when all of a sudden one day when you are not feeling oh so very well, the first thing you blurt out is "HOLY MOLY I have swine flu". Yes, we all throughly have the *bleep* scared out of us and it's all Matt's fault. Thanks Matt! Just kidding, I don't watch Matt Lauer.
But seriously wouldn't you think flu? That's what I would think. That's what I thought. It's how I thunk. (forgive me)
But... I was still functioning and since I was still able to somewhat function I thought perhaps it was not the flu. And then I moved onward. I tend to do that even when faced with serious health symptoms. I just keep on keepin on. I'm weird like that.
Here are several example's of how I truly think, do, or roll when something like this happens:
1. Been shivering since friday. - I think I better make several loaf's of bread, a double layer cake and a chicken spaghetti casserole for the boys.
2.Feeling nothing but bone crushing fatigue. - Went and walked two mile's with the dog, did my Jillian Michael's 20 minute shred workout video and 50 push-up's. Cause I thought it would help.
3.Head feel's as if it might explode into nothingness. - Today I shall paint a replica of Michelango's Creation of Adam from the Sistine Chapel on my bathroom ceiling today.
Yes, this is how I operate. Why? Why do I ignore? Ignore and move forward despite being two step's away from hospitalization.
"You won't be happy unless you're going mock2 with you're hair on fire" (name that movie) This is me. I just can't help it.
This is also by the way where my youngest offspring get his non-stop-ness. Non-stop-ness? Yes, peeps it's a true inherited trait. A sad trait to inherit, but true indeed.
Anyway, the symptoms got worse and my behavior as well. I yelled at the kids, snapped at the dog, and told the mail man to get a life. Not really on that last one, but I wanted to.
Still could not put my finger on just what was going on with me, myself and me.
Then, while I lay there thinking to myself that having baboo shoots run under my fingernails would be less uncomfortable than this, it dawned on me. Like a revelation the size of Texas I realized that I was feeling exactly the way I felt four years and 18 days ago in December (I think it was a tuesday) when I woke one dark and stormy morning, stood up out of my bed and fell completely over. My entire body just toppled over and hit the wall. I was DIZ-EE. Then I went to the walk-in-clinic. After someone drove me there of course. Then after one urine test and a game of 50 questions they proceeded to tell me I could go immediately to the ER or they could start a IV right there because I was the proud owner of an out of control urinary tract infection. Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah and Festive Kwanza for that matter! It was horrible.
All that said. I have one again. A UTI. Make's you feel like you are dying. Really does. No happy feeling's here. Just croaking. You just feel like totally and completely keeling over. But good new's! Once I realized what was wrong I was 15 kinds of happy. Like I had won the lottery. Even if my body still felt like it wa going through a pasta press. It was such a relief because I realized I wasn't dying from swine flu, toe nail cancer, or a rare form of mongolian chicken pox. Which several times a month I'm convined I am dying from. I realize I'm weird. Just accept it and go on. I have.
But the kids did have fresh baked bread to eat. See?
They were not affected one little bit by my illness.
And the dog got walked. He did not suffer either.
Nope just me and my urinary tract. Alone in our misery. Aren't you so glad I told you this?
Thought so.
Until next time. (Halloween Sneak Peek coming up)
Over and Out
The Sideline Mom (with the vunerable urinary tract apparently)
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